The return of Johnny V

Take comfort in the parts he doesn't know
Take comfort in the fact that he has no idea who you are and the fact that his disgusting self is never well hidden

Take comfort in you being too complex for him

Take comfort in the flecks of skin he's mever touched, the freckles he's never seen. The parts he can't even fathom.

Takecomfort in the intimacy he will never be able to acheive, the great people you have that he can never come close to having

Take comfort in the parts of you that are not too weak to fight and destroy him, but are too strong to lower yourself to damaging your most precious commodity... You.

humans are disgusting. They are disgusting, vile, selfish and hurtful. It's human nature. Today hayley's father said to her" if I had not brought you up right then yu wouldn't be who you are today. It's true hayley's is who she is because if him. But only because of the pure unadulterated way he has impacted her humanity. Humans are rArely capable of getting over the loss of a parents unconditional love but she has trained like an mental athlete. A well oiled machine. She has started using him. Every time a heart is broken it is different... It can break the same as a bone, ending in it healing itself stronger than ever, others shatter onto a million pieces: this one is Hayley's. Her fury toward men and the picks she makes are all due to her awful father.


"some
times....sometimes I wish he was dead"
Hayley's mom: "I always wish he was dead"
those two sentences define her family. All her injuries inside come down to such simple words of pain and hate. She is the family punching bag, she is the only one she has ever been able to understand and she is the only person who fuels her own agony.

 

The conversion from adolescence

                           

FUCK.

She just keeps saying it to me over and over.

A Hayley insight

The sun is burning every inch of my bare skin, and the rain is a huge blissful contrast. I watch her,watching lovers, watching eagerly her eyes searching faces to find their positions in life. She's trying to replicate their smiles, observant of every move they make. The only time she stops watching them is when she looks to the sky closes her eyes and breaths in the fresh air.

Conspiracy to commit

We find our heroine sitting on the cold stone wall outside her corner bungalow. Looking down, squeezing her eyes tight she wants so badly to be squeezing out tears but she's just squeezing out sobs. Long breathy sobs. Her Vogue cigarette is sitting in her hand . She feels it replicates her status...long burning exsistance.

This is all getting a little over analitical?

 Let's take this where it needs to go.

I ran from you, now I run to you

Hot tears, flushed cheeks, adrenaline takes over I push off the last step. I take two steps at a time now. I reach the landing one more flight and I'm there. My face hits the orange carpet and blood spills from my nose I kick out and push off the step again.